Deja Vu All Over Again

#ThoughtHealing Quote for the Week: We can change the quality of our lives by changing the context in which we view our circumstances. Ernie Zelinkski

I can’t prove it, but I think there's a pool they started up at work when I returned last month after my 14-month "sabbatical": Pick the day when McDowell will stop looking refreshed and start looking like she did when she left here at the end of 2014.

I’m not sure what kind of odds I’m getting, but in the immortal words of Bruce Willis, “Put me down for twenty, I'm good for it.”

In my first week, several people commented on how refreshed I looked. Now, admittedly, it helped that I had just gotten back from Hawaii, so I definitely looked suntanned and rested. But it made me wonder: just how bad DID I look when I left?

Anyone who read my last book, “I’ve Been Down Here Before, But This Time I Know The Way Out,” knows that, in 2014, I left the very job I now hold because things had become completely out of control for me. Not because I disliked the work—on the contrary, the various things I got to work on were very suited to my interests and my skills. Instead, I left because my behavior had made me ashamed of myself, and I couldn’t figure out a way to dig myself out short of running when I got the chance.

And that chance came when I had the opportunity to accept a layoff and 26 weeks of unemployment.

Several people have asked, with no small amount of incredulity in their voices, why in heavens name I actually came back. And not a few of them have assumed that I must have been forced back somehow—maybe because I’ve run out of money, or I couldn’t get a job anywhere else.

I’ve started the rumor that I was offered $14 million to return. It seemed like a nice round figure.

It would be incredibly naive, and just plain stupid, to think that the workplace has changed in the 14 months that I’ve been gone. Of course it hasn’t changed. And since it hasn’t changed, most people believe that it’s just a matter of time before I start looking like I did before.

Except that I know I won’t. And how, you may ask, can I possibly be so sure about this?

Because, while the workplace hasn’t changed, my circumstances have. And so have I.

John Ramos said, “For things to change, you must change. For things to get better, you must get better.”

A lot can happen in 14 months (for that matter, a lot can happen in 14 minutes). And I had a choice: I could either continue to view my circumstances in the same way or I could change the context.

And, not only could I change how I viewed my circumstances, I could change my view of MYSELF within those circumstances.

I’ve changed. I’ve gotten better. And now everything around me has changed and gotten better as well.

So as you view your own circumstances, is there anything that you can change so that you, too, can get better?

Think about it!

And, as always, remember this: It’s NEVER too late to be what you might have been!

Want to know more about transforming limited thoughts and beliefs into limitless possibilities? Check out my Examine–Envision–Emerge Personal Transformation Book Series. Each book explores a particular aspect of thought healing. Find yours online at your favorite retailer today!

Get Back To Where You Once Belonged

#ThoughtHealing Quote for This Week: “You must learn to respect the wisdom of your natural instincts, because they are probably superb when it comes to weaving everything you need into your life.” Barbara Sher

Last month, I wrote about how I found, and then, surprisingly, left the perfect job.

Now I want to share how this came about. I still believe that the Universe did, in fact, manifest the perfect job for me. I simply needed to come to understand why it was perfect for me—and why I needed to leave it.

In my book, Will Work to Feed Dogs: Seven Steps to Identifying Meaningful Life-Work Now!, I wrote this: a critical element in finding meaningful life work is determining which components of your Authentic Self are most important to you. This is because the components of your Authentic Self that are most important to you will help you make appropriate decisions and choices so that you don’t compromise when it comes to identifying your ideal life-work.

To help people determine what those components are, I included an exercise called, “My Authentic Self,” which consists of exploring five aspects: values, passions/interests, natural talents, favorite skills, and personality preferences. (Self-promoting plug: you can find the worksheet that goes with this exercise on my personal transformation site www.cracksinconsciousness.com ).

Of course, in the spirit of “walk the talk,” I dutifully filled out the worksheet—but, as it turns out, not so much with a focus on what it really meant to me so much as a usability test drive to ensure that the worksheet made sense from a coaching perspective.

Bad idea. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh. Maybe “too focused on only one thing” would be a better, less critical way to characterize it.

It’s not that I couldn’t identify all of the aspects of my Authentic Self; I live a very self-examined life, and, over the years, I’ve become quite an expert in what makes me tick and what’s most important to me.

However, when it came down to it, I was ashamed of what was most important to me. Why? Because of very old tapes running all the way back to my childhood.

And what was most important to me? Financial and personal security. Human, face-to-face interaction (I can talk to my dogs only so much). None of which were considered okay for me to need or want while I was growing up. And, none of which could ever be satisfied by my 100% remote, work for 18 months without benefits and then you’re on your own for 6 months Project Manager job.

Now, I won’t waste your time (or mine) chronicling the woes, real or perceived, of my childhood. Because the real lesson here is that, regardless of how I was raised, how I got here, where I go from here, the essential piece of the puzzle of how to live a happy life is owning what is true and necessary for me. Owning it without shame or apology or justification. Owning it, and then acting on it.

And so I ran from my perfect job—back to where I was at the end of 2014. I’m working at the same place (literally, in the same building), with the same people, for a great new company, for a great salary and benefits, a flexible work schedule (meaning onsite and telework), and where several of my closest friends also work. Perfect!

Barbara Sher also said: “You don’t have to give up a life of security to lead the life of adventure.”

Which I am finding to be very true for me. With my need for financial and personal security met, I can freely continue to pursue everything else that gives me personal satisfaction: writing, teaching, public speaking.

And so, let me leave you with this thought: looking at your own Authentic Self, is there any aspect of it that you are not honoring? And if there is, what is it costing you?

Think about it!

And, as always, remember this: It’s NEVER too late to be what you might have been!

Want to know more about transforming limited thoughts and beliefs into limitless possibilities? Check out my Examine–Envision–Emerge Personal Transformation Book Series. Each book explores a particular aspect of thought healing. Find yours online at your favorite retailer today!