Monday, November 9, 2015

(Seeing Everything With) Eyes Wide Shut

#ThoughtHealing #MotivationMonday Quote for the Week: “The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.” Stanley Kubrick

Last week, we talked about the value of self-examination, and how knowledge of oneself can be the first step towards wisdom and a more satisfying life in which you are true to yourself.

So now, let’s assume that you’ve taken that first step towards “true-ness”: you’ve examined yourself and you now have a wealth of information at your fingertips.

Which begs the question, “Now what?”

I have a tendency to overthink things. Okay, my family and friends would object to the “tendency” part—they’d cut right to it and state emphatically that I overthink EVERYTHING.

Maybe it’s genetic. After all, my late sister, when I would tell her about how I was struggling with making a decision, would reply, “Well, don’t look at me for advice. You know how this family is. It can take me a day just to decide to go the bathroom.” (Granted, I’ve cleaned up this potty humor a bit; after all, I wouldn’t like to speak ill of the dead—although she’d be the first to laugh about this!)

On the other hand, maybe it’s part of the whole “nature versus nurture” debate. I am, by nature (and as a result, by profession), a planner and process engineer. I make a living by thinking about how things are done now and how they can be improved, streamlined, or eliminated (no potty pun intended here, either).

On the other hand, there wasn’t an abundance of nurturing going on in my family when I was growing up, so I can’t really speak to what I have no frame of reference for. But I do know that a lack of nurturing can result in the need to analyze everything in order to avoid making mistakes and to feel safe in one’s environment.

Or, at least, that’s how it works for me.

So, when I read something like, “the truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it,” I have to think about this. Because knowing how I feel about things isn’t in my nature, either.

When I was in the outpatient facility to treat my alcoholism, one of the things we had to do was share how we were feeling. Don’t get me started about how much I hated, loathed, and abominated that little exercise—how’s that for sharing my feelings? One of the counselors warned me that sharing how angry and resentful I was would not suffice. Apparently, everyone had figured out pretty quickly that I only had these two feelings most of the time.

But I didn’t know any other touchy, feely words. And apparently, neither did most of the others in my recovery group. After all, many of us drank to numb our constant feelings of anger and resentment.
But the counselor was prepared for this, and handed around a list of feelings that we could choose from. Imagine my surprise to see just how many feelings I could have.

And I’ve used this exercise ever since, particularly when I’m feeling overwhelmed by my overthinking.

So, how might you apply the “feeling truth of a thing” to everything you’ve learned about yourself in the course of your daily self-examination?

First and foremost, it can act as a neutralizer of sorts, a way to silence the inner critic. I don’t know about you, but, for me, not only can I overthink, but I can be equally overcritical of what I discover about myself along the way. Which also means that I can either make the wrong decision or be too afraid to make any decision.

Take overthinking as an example. This is one of my “think of a thing” truths. I know this to be true of me.

But how do I feel about this truth?

Well, to tell the truth, I’m feel okay about it (okay, let me get out my list of feelings words to see if I can be more specific). I feel A-OK, comfortable, satisfied, swell, hunky-dory, all right, pleased, and snug as a bug in a rug with it (thank you, thesaurus.com!). And, yes, sometimes I can suffer from analysis paralysis. However, this natural talent of mine has also made me very good at my job.

Judy Carter said, “That day, I learned overthinking gets in the way of our natural talents. We have to turn off the critical, plotting, safety mind and tap into our innate abilities. We can do more than we think we can.

Don’t you love the irony of this statement? Overthinking can in fact get in the way of recognizing that we can do more than we think we can.

Thinking about what you are discovering about yourself as you journey through life, can you tell the difference between the think of a thing and the feel of a thing? Is your self-knowledge providing you with limitless opportunities? Or is the think of a thing limiting what you believe you can do?

Think about it!

And, as always, remember this: It’s never too late to be what you might have been!


Want to know more about transforming limited thoughts and beliefs into limitless possibilities? Check out my Examine–Envision–Emerge Personal Transformation Book Series. Each book explores a particular aspect of thought healing. Find yours online at your favorite retailer today!

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