You Are Here

“If you want to change your life’s direction, you need to direct your intention, which means first being honest about the thoughts, rationalizations, intentions, and attitudes you already have.” Robert Altman, The Mindfulness Code

You hear about a shoe store opening up at your local mall, and you decide that you simply must have a new pair of fabulous red shoes. Off you go to the mall but you have no idea where the shoe store is in the mall. So you start with the Mall Directory. Looking at the map, what are the two things you need to know to get you on your way to that new pair of fabulous red shoes?

1.   Where you are now.

2.   Where you want to be.

So the first thing you do is find the bold YOU ARE HERE marker on the map. Why begin at this point?

Because you need to know where you are now in order to figure out how to get to where you want to be.

Now, take a closer look at that YOU ARE HERE marker. What it doesn’t say is as important as what it does say. It doesn’t say, “You are here. . . .but you have no business buying yet another pair of fabulous red shoes.” It doesn’t say, “You are here . . . .but once you get to the store, there probably won’t be any fabulous red shoes in your size so why bother?” It’s an objective statement of fact. It’s simply an indicator of your present circumstance, that is, where you are in the mall at this very moment. No more, no less. YOU ARE HERE – it is what it is.

You’re probably thinking, so what? Of course it doesn’t say that, McDowell, it’s just a sign.

But now let’s look at how this might apply to how we think about ourselves outside the mall.

When you think about where you are right now, how often do you attach some type of subjective, usually negative, judgment to your current situation? Maybe you’ve lost your job in this crumbling economy and haven’t been able to find another one no matter how many resumes you’ve sent out or job fairs you’ve attended. When someone asks you how your job hunt is going so far, do you reply, “I haven’t found anything yet,” and just leave it at that? Or do you say, “I haven’t found anything yet . . . and I’m sure it’s because I’m not qualified, there simply isn’t anything out there, no one is hiring, I can’t afford to take such a huge pay cut.” Do you make the objective statement – “no job yet” – only to follow it up with the subjective judgment – “and at this rate, I probably won’t find a job” – which, of course, makes you feel even more depressed and desperate and (if you’re like me) worthless than you already do? And then, to make matters worse, you allow the subjective judgment to determine your next steps, and so now you stop applying for certain jobs because you “just know” that you aren’t going to get hired anyway.

I am, for the most part, a “cup half full” person. But if I had a nickel for every time I added a subjective judgment onto an objective statement about my present circumstances, I’d be living in a sumptuous beachfront house in Hawaii wearing simply fabulous red slippahs (okay, I can hear my spiritual mentors whispering, “McDowell, it isn’t the money that’s keeping you from living in Hawaii, it’s your intention,” even as I write this, but that’s another topic for another blog!). Unless I am “thought-diligent,” unless I am mindful of what I’m thinking about when I think about my life, it’s very easy for me to negatively judge my present circumstances – and, as a result, chart a course of action that will not help me realize my goals – instead of making peace with my present circumstances in order to move forward with positive intentions.

Over the last few years, there has been an explosion of information about how we can use the power of our thoughts to improve our health, attain wealth, attract love, live longer and better. These are truly powerful messages that can – literally – transform our lives.

But I think there is a necessary first step that we must take before we can fully realize the changes that we want to make in our lives by harnessing this power: To know where we want to go and figure out how to get there, we must begin with identifying where we are right now. Knowing where we are helps us identify WHAT needs to be changed and the reasons WHY we want to move away from our present circumstances towards a new life. As an empath, my work is about getting people to have the courage and energy to look at and accept themselves – their wants, feelings, needs, desires, darkest thoughts – in order to move from their current state to a desired future state.

None of us is immune from subjectivity, ignorance, or denial. But it has been my experience that if we can understand our situation from an objective, nonjudgmental standpoint, we have a better chance at finding ways of responding positively to our present circumstances. We must begin by doing what Altman describes as “cultivating a neutral and nonjudgmental awareness, which allows us to witness and observe events without attaching to them. Our subjective emotion needs to be developed into objectivity in order to determine both the need for change and our ability to change.

Perhaps we cannot remove all the ups and downs of life. However, we have it in our power to alter how we perceive our lives, how we interpret YOU ARE HERE, in order to change our perception of the experience of our lives – which ultimately influences our decisions and our actions. This is in no way to imply that your present circumstances might not be daunting, painful, or even life-threatening. Rather, identifying what our lives consist of now, and making peace with our present circumstances, means that we are more readily able to accept and engage the difficulties of life. Once we objectively acknowledge our present circumstances, we can determine where we need to be, and then begin to chart a course of action for getting there.

“If you truly want to change your life, you must first be willing to change your mind.” The Mindfulness Code, Donald Altman

KISS and Tell

So I’m talking to one of the members of my Practitioners Circle when the discussion moved to working with animal totems. She is fairly new to the craft, having just begun to explore where her metaphysical abilities and interests might lie. And, as with all of us just starting out, she’s been using the internet to “enhance” her exploration. Not surprisingly, she’s quickly become overwhelmed with the staggering volume of information – books, webinars, classes, seminars, newsletters, workshops, blogs – that is available to her, all of which is fascinating and compelling but also – well – overwhelming.

Not so many years ago, it was not so – it was very hard to gather information from other metaphysical professionals. We wandered through bookstores looking for the “New Age” section, we culled the library card catalogs for topics like “ESP”  or “Casey, Edgar.” Now, a cell phone and access to the internet puts EVERYTHING right at our fingertips.

Which brings us to that sense of being overwhelmed.

In an article titled, “Overcoming Information Overload,” Margarita Tartakovsky describes it this way: “Information is merely a click — or, more accurately, a Google search — away. Depending on your query, there’s likely at least a dozen, if not hundreds, of blogs on the topic, a similar number of books and many more articles. One bit of information leads to five facts, which leads to three articles, which leads to an interesting interview you must listen to right now, which leads to 10 pages in your browser. Every clue leads to another. Every clue uncovered is a prize in itself: learning something new and interesting and getting one step closer to the carrot (such as the answer to your original question). This is a good thing, but it also can overburden our brains.”

Okay, so we have overburdened brains. So what?

According to Lucy Jo Palladino, Ph.D, a psychologist and author of Find Your Focus Zone: An Effective New Plan to Defeat Distraction and Overload, “Information overload occurs when a person is exposed to more information than the brain can process at one time.” Information or cognitive overload can lead to indecisiveness, bad decisions and stress, Palladino said. Indecisiveness or analysis paralysis occurs when you’re “overwhelmed by too many choices, your brain mildly freezes and by default, [and] you passively wait and see.” Or you make a hasty decision because vital facts get wedged between trivial ones, and you consider credible and non-credible sources equally, she said.

So, back to the discussion with my friend. With just a hint of despair in her voice, she remarked, “If I come across just one more class that I need to sign up for or one more book I’m supposed to read, I’m going to cry. Just the other day, I was watching a webinar that mentioned working with animal totems, and there was a link to a workshop that will show you how to recognize and work with your totems. Great, I thought, another class that takes time and that I can’t afford so I guess I’ll just have to wait on figuring out how to identify my animal totems until I can take the class. I want to make sure that I’m doing it right.”

Hang on – did you just say, “doing it right?”

Now flash back to just two days before this discussion. This same Circle member, who is also a co-worker, asked if I could come to her cubicle. When I get there, she whispers with just a hint of okay-this-is-really-icky in her voice, “There’s a bug in my cubicle,” and she points to a rather large insect that looks like some kind of beetle. Now, keep in mind that we work in a typical office environment – no open windows, no doors to the outside, few live plants – so the chances of even so much as a fly getting in are remote, let alone a some kind of big, icky beetle.

Then in equally hushed tones, she says, “You know what’s weird about this?” (As if seeing a beetle in her cubicle isn’t weird enough). “I saw this very same bug while I was getting my therapeutic massage a couple of days ago. It was inside the room with us. Do you think it could be a message?”

So now fast forward to this chat with my co-worker, who is honestly concerned about not having the time or the money to take a workshop on how to identify her own animal totems, and therefore, won’t be able to work with them.

So I asked her, “Remember the beetle in your cubicle? Why do you think you need to sign up for a class when it’s obvious that this beetle bug – icky or not – has made itself known to you already?” She looked puzzled.

Then I said, “Okay, so let’s look at this another way. Is there an animal that just resonates with you, that whenever you see it, you get a warm, fuzzy feeling?”

Without hesitating, she replied, “Oh yeah, when I was little, I had posters of lions all over my room. And whenever I go to the zoo, the first place I want to visit is the lion exhibit. And, I’ve always wanted to go to Africa to actually see lions. Plus, one of my favorite movies is” – wait for it, I think to myself – “The Lion King.”

“Then,” I said (trying hard not to have the merest hint of “are you joking” come into my voice), “Is it possible – just maybe –that Lion might be your animal totem? And that the beetle is here as your own personal messenger?

She looked a little sheepish at this point, and then she replied, “I didn’t think it would be that simple.”

Of course it can. And it should be that simple. It’s supposed to be that simple.

This experience with my co-worker comes up all the time for me, and one that we, as Practitioners, need to consider carefully when working with others. Metaphysical professionals see this all the time – an assumption on the part of the student that the way to enlightenment requires not only exploring all of the tools but using them all as well in order to ensure they do it the “right” way.

But if we believe that enlightenment cannot be achieved without using all of the tools available, and, moreover, classes and workshops are the only means by which we learn to use these tools, then the tools become a trap. Which for most of us means that instead of trusting ourselves to know what is in our best and highest interest, we “passively wait and see.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for asking for guidance when I need guidance. I sign up for classes, buy books, meet with my psychic mentor regularly. There are times when we need help from someone else who is further along the path, who has experience and wisdom and knowledge and tools that we need so that we may improve our own abilities in order to better assist, heal, and guide others.

But, for me, a critical component of practicing my craft is helping others recognize their OWN abilities, to trust their intuition, to carve out for themselves the path through the wilderness that is our time here on Earth.

You know the saying, KISS – Keep It Simple, Stupid. I use the KISS concept in my practice as well – but I define it as Keep It Simple, Spiritually. My practice is aimed at helping my clients empower themselves, giving them the tools they need to find their own way. And sometimes it’s as simple as helping them see what is obvious – not just to me as the Practitioner, but to them as well.

Here’s why I know this to be true.

When I first started exploring my own abilities, I, too, came across the concept of working with animal totems. And I, too, despaired of trying to figure this out in the “right” way. I thought, “Okay, I guess I’m supposed to meditate “really hard” until my animal totem reveals itself. Or maybe there’s a book I might be able to find that explains how I’m “supposed” to do this.” So I meditated “really hard” – come on, animal totem, where are you, ohm, ohm, ohm – and I saw lots of different animals but only because I wanted to and only because I thought it would be dandy if some really “cool” animal appeared to me, like Eagle (majestic) or Wolf (free-spirited and mystical) or even Lion. But I instinctively – dare I say, intuitively – knew that I was trying too hard, that I was mostly just making this up.

Then one day when I was cleaning my house, I found myself in my Rabbit Room.

That’s right, you heard me -- my Rabbit Room.

I have a bedroom decorated with all of my rabbit memorabilia and artwork. And I have all of this rabbit memorabilia and artwork because for as long as I can remember, I have been completely mesmerized by all things bunny. If I went to a County Fair or petting zoo, I always made a beeline for the rabbit cages. If I saw a rabbit in the front yard, I would stop and watch it (still do, in fact). Over the years, I’ve collected rabbit statues, rabbit jewelry, and even rabbit cutlery, and people have given me paintings of rabbits. And, as part of my character that I play in historical reenactments, my symbol has always been the rabbit. I even travel with a stuffed bunny in my suitcase, who goes everywhere with me and has his own section on my Facebook page where he chronicles his travel adventures.

So standing in the middle of this room, it finally dawned on me – gee, could my animal totem actually be Rabbit? And even more importantly, could it actually be that simple?

In his now-classic book, “What Color is Your Parachute,” Richard Nelson Bolles makes this observation: “Your heart knows the places that it loves. Your mind knows the subjects that it loves. Your body knows the workout that it loves. Your soul knows the values that it loves. Therefore, my friend, what a “dream job” is all about (beyond skills) is identifying these favorite geographies, defining for yourself the places that your skills, your soul, and your body, heart, and mind, most often yearn to be.”

My work as a metaphysical practitioner is about helping people find the courage to listen to the truest part of themselves-- their “favorite geographies” – in order to discover what speaks to the deepest part of their nature and to move forward from where they are to where they want to be.

In her book, This Time I Dance, Tama Kieves relates a dream she had: “You were meant to write books,” sighed the angel in the fantasy, running the movie. She bowed her head, as her feathers shuddered with my cosmic shock and loss. . . The angel in the after-death fantasy was the ghost that plagued my days. I did know. I did know. I did know.”

Surely, the most credible vital facts are what we know at the soul level about ourselves. And I think we all know our truths, our own credible vital facts.

A student once asked his teacher, "Master, what is enlightenment?" The master replied, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep." (Pierre Teilhard De Chardin).

Let me add one more to the list: When seeking your truth, try looking in your Rabbit Room.

Ready – Aim – Aim – Aim

“Most people fall victim to what T. Boone Pickens calls the "Ready, aim, aim, aim syndrome." They are more than willing to think about it and talk about it, but loath to pull the trigger and take action.” From “Finding Prosperity,” Bob McDermott, Honolulu Advertiser, Feb 2010 

So here you are, still at the mall and still absolutely certain that you must have those fabulous red shoes. And, you’ve figured out two very important pieces of what it will take to achieve your goal: 

1. Where you are now (“You Are Here” declares the Mall Directory). 
2. Where you want to be (trying on shoes in the Red Shoes R Us warehouse). 

Now what? 

We all know that setting goals – knowing where you want to be and what you want to achieve – is key to success, whether your goal is finding financial prosperity, maintaining a healthier lifestyle, getting a new job, or buying those red shoes. And, we know that it’s equally important to have a plan and establish benchmarks on the way to our ultimate goal so that we can measure progress and stay motivated. 

But whenever I read a book or listen to a podcast or attend a lecture about goal setting, I always feel like I’ve somehow skipped a page or got to the lecture late and I missed the part about HOW you take that first step. 

Because all the goal setting and planning and progress measuring won’t amount to much if you can’t – or won’t – take that first step. Herbert Hoover once said, “Wisdom oft times consists of knowing what to do next.” If that’s the definition of wisdom, I should be a sage on a mountaintop. I have absolutely no trouble figuring out what to do next no matter what the task, the objective, the goal. It’s not the WHAT that gives me trouble. It’s the first step that can trip me up every time. 

“The pathway is smooth. Why do you throw rocks before you?” Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers, Copyright 2006 

Once you know where you’re going, do you set off with purpose, moving ever forward, keeping up your momentum, and sticking resolutely to your goal of getting to the shoe store? Or, are you easily distracted, wandering here and there, window shopping along the way, not paying much attention to where you are and how you got there until you have to stop and check the Mall Directory again? 

Or are you a rock thrower? Do you focus on the reasons why you shouldn’t start? Do you find yourself actually creating obstacles to your success? Instead of just starting out, do you find yourself, instead, starting to question whether you really need those new shoes? Or maybe, you wonder whether you really should just focus on red shoes. What if blue shoes are a better choice? If you go to the Red Shoes R Us warehouse, you won’t be able to pick a color other than red. What if you pick the wrong shade of red. 

I hate to admit it but I’ve tossed more than a few rocks into my smooth pathway. 

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." Zig Ziglar 

Here’s the ultimate irony. I make my living as a project manager and planner. I spend the better part of my day making plans, creating schedules, identifying goals and objectives, and tracking progress towards achieving those goals. Getting started and continually moving forward is essential to my success and the success of my clients. Not only do I have to make sure that the pathway is smooth, it’s my job to ensure that no one can even find a rock to throw in the way, let alone actually throw it. 

But when it comes to my personal life, I seem to have an unlimited supply of rocks and I rarely hesitate to pick one up and give it a good heave. 

Take writing this particular blog topic, for example. 

I’ve had the title in my mind and the general idea of what to write about for weeks now. Weeks. I knew which quotes I wanted to use, the anecdotes I’ve wanted to share, the cracks in consciousness I wanted to open up for you, my readers. Ready, aim, aim, aim. 

And aim, aim, aim, and aim some more – McDowell, what’s wrong with you? You love to write, you love to figure out the best way to express a thought, there’s nothing more fun than picking the quotes and turning a clever phrase, and letting everyone know by your obvious wit and humor how very talented you are and, oh but wait a minute, you can’t just sit down and start writing (rock), you have to have an outline of the topic first and then, oh no (rock, rock), what happens if you find a better quote but it’s too late to use it, and then you write something that isn’t witty or clever and not only doesn’t make your readers want more, but even worse (rock, rock, rock), you actually put it up on the site and your friends read it and then everyone realizes that you aren’t as smart or wise or clever as you think you are and, oh no, the worst yet (rock, rock, rock, rock), the entire planet will read it and realize you aren’t – do I dare utter it – perfect. 

And now here comes the rock slide that completely crushes my smooth pathway, and I can’t go anywhere, let alone forward. 

“Many people wait for everything to be perfect before they get going. Therefore, they never get going and they never get the rewards. From “Finding Prosperity,” Bob McDermott, Honolulu Advertiser, Feb 2010 

When I was about 46, I once whined to a friend about the fact that if I started learning to play the bagpipes now (a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember), I’d be (groan, with lots of rock-tossing thrown in for good measure) 50 by the time I finally could really play with any proficiency. She of course patiently pointed out, “You’re going to be 50 anyway, McDowell.” 

And that was six years ago and I haven’t even started taking lessons. That need to look perfect has long been my Achilles heel when it comes to getting started. Not only do I not get started, I don’t even get in the starting gate. 

I was having coffee with a friend yesterday. We meet once a month to catch up. Like me, she also writes blogs on several topics, and so we naturally turned to the subject of how our blogging was progressing (hers was, mine wasn’t). We spent the next 45 minutes sharing tips and tricks for writing effective blogs, getting published, increasing our visibility – except that’s not entirely accurate. She talked about all of this while I mostly just listened. Because I hadn’t been able to get started on my next blog topic. And I found myself feeling envious of her and annoyed with myself. I mentioned that I was going to write a blogspot called Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim, and she pointed out that she’s still waiting to read this one. “Remember? You mentioned you were going to write this article last month when we got together for coffee.” 

Ouch. 

When I got home, I kept thinking about why I hadn’t started yet. I tried visualizing sitting down at the computer and cranking this out -- and that’s when I saw and felt what I wrote above – the recriminating self-talk, the doubt, the fear that I wouldn’t be able to get it “right.” My Achilles heel – the need for perfection – had once again stopped me cold. And it slowly came to me how ironic it was that I intended to write about how people sometimes have trouble getting started but I had not yet come to terms with why I kept taking aim over and over without letting the arrow fly. 

“A thousand mile journey begins with one step.” Lao Tzu 

Most of us have an Achilles heel of our own devising that keeps us from taking that first step towards achieving our goals. For us, then, our thousand mile journey must be one of discovery and self-realization. And the first step on this journey is paradoxically simple: You must start by exploring what it is that keeps you from getting started. Is it the fear of failure or, perhaps, the fear of success? Visualize yourself getting started and then get in touch with what you’re feeling and thinking with regards to this picture in your mind. Keep asking yourself, “What is underlying this?” Keep peeling the onion to reveal what lies beneath. 

Next, try to discover what resources, emotions, or experiences you can draw upon to help you overcome the rocks you’ve placed in your path. 

And last, find out what it is that will keep you going. 

Mark Twain once wrote, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

Are you ready to set sail?