Dance Space

Namaste and Welcome. I’m McDowell Graham, founder of Cracks in Consciousness, where the world is more than we know.

For today’s thought shifting session, I want to talk about self-isolation and its effects on our well-being – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Right now, countless blogs, videos, FB Live sessions, and Twitters are available that talk about the need for social distancing and self-isolation. I’ve seen lots of recommendations and suggestions for how to accomplish both.

But I haven’t seen much about the reality of self-isolation, specifically, how we navigate our daily lives in the seemingly constant, in some cases, 24/7 physical presence of others we share our homes with. And I call this, “Dance Space.”

In my business, I use Intuitive Mentoring to help share information that might be difficult for beginners to grasp on their own. Mentoring enables the student to learn valuable life lessons from the mentor’s experiences, mistakes, challenges, and obstacles, which can ease the way as they continue on their life journey and step into the unknown.

As it turns out, I have extensive experience with self-isolation, which I hope might help some of you during this time.

More that 15 years ago, I chose to live as a self-isolationist. Of course, 15 years ago, it wasn’t called that – and it certainly wasn’t acceptable. People like me were called hermits and anti-social. Now, how I live my life is suddenly “in vogue.” Who knew?

One of the most fundamental “new realities” of a pandemic world that most of us are facing now is finding ourselves in close physical proximity to everyone in our households 24/7. And, for most of this, this is an entirely new experience that we were unprepared for.

Just a few short weeks ago, our children would be out of the house at school. We went to work or to the gym or grocery store, often alone. And in those moments, we had physical separation from each other. And I believe that moments of physical separation is as vital to our well-being as physical touch is.

So what is the “Dance Space”?

Many of you have heard me say this many times: “This is my dance space, this is your dance space. I don’t go into your space, you don’t come into mine.”

Okay, in full disclosure, yes, it’s from the Patrick Swayze movie called, “Dirty Dancing.”

You never know where the big idea might come from.

(And since everyone is home binging on old movies, if you know the movie that the quote comes from about big idea, put it in the Comments. And well done you!)

In the dance space scene, Patrick Swayze is explaining to Baby how to maintain physical distance, while as the same time, moving fluidly and in synch together. The physical distance – the Dance Space – is essential to the dance.

And now, I’m guessing that for most of you, people are in your dance space. And I’m also guessing that for most you, you’re finding this to be uncomfortable, or tiring, or emotionally overwhelming, or just plain annoying. At the same time, you also might feel guilty about not enjoying this enforced “crowding” of your personal space.

But you have no idea now to maintain your Dance Space and to find the balance between separateness and togetherness.

So let’s talk about a few tools you can use to find this very important sacred place.

The first tool is giving yourself permission to create physical separation. If you’re lucky enough to have a place you can go in the house to be alone, go there. If not, sit in your car and listen to music. Go outside by yourself and simply breathe the fresh air. Just a few minutes of physical separation from your loved ones can restore your sense of self and oneness and your desire to be with others.

The second dandy tool you can use is called, “The Eightfold Fence.” It’s a poem from the “Kojiki,” the oldest surviving book of Japanese myths and stories from around AD 712.

Eight clouds arise. The eightfold fence of Izumo makes an eightfold fence for the spouses to retire [within]. Oh! that eightfold fence.

The Eightfold Fence is a tool of sanity. It is a spiritual wall behind which we can withdraw and disengage from the emotions that flood our conscience. Remember, we are all energetic beings. Being in a defined space not only confines us physically, it also confines us energetically. You might be experiencing not only your OWN emotions – fear, concern about the future, uncertainty – but you are also energetically participating in everyone else’s emotions.

From within the Eightfold Fence, we can smile when we are sad. It is the protection from senseless tragedy, the gates that are slowly opened to loved ones, the place where secret ambition is guarded, and perhaps the one thing each person can know is entirely unique to themselves.

So at any point during the day, if you feel your Dance Space eroding, you can erect your own Eightfold Fence like this:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Picture a fence that encircles you in love and light. Make the fence as dense or as “see-through” as you like. A privacy fence, a picket fence, a fence of green trees. It doesn’t matter what it’s made out of. It’s your fence – just be sure that you resonate with it.
3. Now, cleanse your mind of people – watch the sunset, listen to the rain or the birds singing, see the falling snow. If you really listen, if you really see, the present vanishes. You are alone and safe.

Do this anytime you need to honor your physical self.


The last tool you can use is one I use often: the White Light of Protection. This is especially helpful when you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed. White Light is used to help you to clear your energetic space and protect you from negativity. It’s amazingly simple, and here’s how I do it:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Circle your hand and repeat: “I surround myself with the White Light of Protection. Nothing but love can enter within. Nothing but love can emerge from within. I am safe. I am myself.”
3. Now, picture being “encased” in a shimmering bubble of light and love

That’s it. Do this any time you need to be apart in your own energetic space.